NOTE

I have noticed that on the nights I use sleeping pills or any sort of medication, I do not dream at all. Also, if I do dream, I never remember them. I really try not to use them (pills) but some nights, I have to. My job requires 100% concentration and some nights, I need to be guaranteed at least 7 hours sleep (which seems to be the highest I can get to) so that I can do my job properly the next day. My battle with sleep continues....

26/3/10

I was going around with someone. Don't remember who, but it was a man. I can't figure out what our relationship was. Was he my boyfriend or just a friend? I have no clue. Or perhaps someone I liked, a date or something. We were going through stores and I was looking at furniture. Stuff that I like. He was iriitated with me. He thought everything was weird. He was really out of place in the shops. They looked like second hand shops. I was excited about looking through stuff but could not enjoy myself or be myself cos I kept worrying about him. I kept stopping myself from admiring stuff cos I was afraid he would think I am weird. Then all of a sudden, I am at another scene. I have no idea how one dream ended and another began, but this seemed to be a totally different dream. I was with one of the kids (work) and in a tough situation in public since the kid was having an episode. I was trying my best to stabilise the situation but knew that it might spiral out of control at any moment.



I woke up just as things were getting hectic.



I recently went on a date with a guy who totally freaked out cos I took down a poster from a street corner. He thought that was "morally wrong" and I did not have any problem using stuff that is put up illegally, if I might add, for my own projects. It turned out to be a huge argument with him thinking that I was weird or whatever. The usual. So I think the first dream might just be my subconcious showing my fears....I was seriously bothered about his reaction. It was really very hard for me to get back to the whole dating scene, and that happened. It just shut me down.



As for work, its always in my head.

24/3/10

I was sent to Japan as a spy. I have no idea which country sent me. I got in a group of young people. The guy who was my contact was in that group. Nobody else knew about why I was in the country. A girl in the group became my friend and she showed me all the stuff I was supposed to do as a foriegner. Apparently Japan has very strict laws concerning foriegners. I had to write a letter anytime I moved house or location, about why I was there, and then get it stamped. I did that immediately and I put it in the opening page of my notebook. Then we all went on a journey, I have no idea where we were going but my contact, who was also a foriegner was also in the car. There were check points all over, and my new friend kept disturbing me about my stamped letter, wondering if I had it with me, where it was , etc. She was worried that we will be stopped and I would need to show it. During the journey, I wrote a note to my contact about something. He read it and then instead of tearing it, he just crumpled it and threw it on the seat opposite. I got into a huge panic, retrieved the note and tore it up in pieces. Everybody in the car noticed and started wondering what was in the note that made me get into such a panic. I started crying. My contact immediately reached over and started kissing me and saying he was sorry, etc, so everybody thought we were having a lover's tiff or something. His kissing went over to some serious smooching. Just as it was heaviest, we are stopped at a check point. We are told to get out of the car and taken to different interrogation rooms. Just as they lead my friend away, she tells me to write a new letter if I cant find the old one. I start writing a new letter but a soldier woman comes in and says its too late for that. I tell her I have the old one with me. She says its too late, I start crying. I cry so hard that my eyes begin to hurt, and one of my eyes becomes so bad that I am unable to open it. She takes pity on me and asks me to bring the old one. I go to the room where they have laid out all my stuff. There are three notebooks and they all look the same. I start looking in them in a panic. I remember that the letter was in the first page. I can not find it in any of the books. I start panicking, my eyes ache, the closed eye is worse now. The woman just keeps standing over me. I tell her I cant find the letter, I am now seriosuly panicking....





I forced myself to wake up. All that stress...in a dream, gosh! I just could not take it.

23/3/10

Dreamt I made a huge lunch for a group of people who had come for my friend's wedding the day before. I do not remember much of the wedding but I remember that my friend was very drunk and I was helping her adjust her wedding gown and making sure she was dressed properly. I remember also thinking that her bride's maid sucked seriously at her duty. It was a very rowdy wedding and everybody was drunk. Anyway, so now it was lunch, the next day and I made the lunch. Chicken and something. The group pf people were obviously "our" friends, ( but in real life, I really do not know any of them. They are people I have only seen on TV, artists, writers, actors, etc. Tv people). They complimented me on my cooking. Someone said the only thing missing in the chicken was "basil". Then we all went down to the shop, supposedly to buy more alcohol. The shop was not yet opened.

While we stood outside, my friend, (the bride), met us up with another group of people. Then we all started walking somewhere. I have no idea where they were going. I and the bride thought we were off to get ice cream but when we turned the corner to the ice cream shop, they were not in there. They just kept walking. The large group was walking in front of us, and I was behind, with the bride. We were walking fast but the group in front were a rowdy bunch and walked even faster. We had no idea where they were going.

I woke up by myself.

17/3/2010

I have not been able to write down my dreams the moment I wake up like I should. I wake up feeling really really tired and even if I always think I'd write them down later in the day, I often forget my dreams by mid day. I have to be better. Tmrw, I will be better.